


Not Mine to Keep, But Hers to Give

by darthregina



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2013-11-05
Packaged: 2017-12-31 13:58:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthregina/pseuds/darthregina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Mulan leaves with Neal, Aurora and Phillip are forced to interact more. During their time together, Aurora asks about magic...and does not like what she finds out. The next day, she forces events to a head and Mulan must find her before all is lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Mine to Keep, But Hers to Give

**Author's Note:**

> This is a take on what could have happened if Aurora were the one to leave instead of Mulan.

The night after Mulan left proved to be a lonely affair for both Aurora and Phillip. After a long day of labor uninterrupted by Mulan’s cheery wit, the two sat together in the kitchen slowly eating their evening meal. The absence of their friend had forced the betrothed pair to spend most of the day together, and as the night hastened on, Aurora found she had less and less to speak to the prince about. The silence dragging on through the meal disquieted Aurora, so she finally asked a question she had been mulling about for some time.

“Does it require magic to restore a heart?”

Phillip looked up from his half eaten meal. “I’m sorry, my love, a heart?” His eyebrows bunched together as he looked at her quizzically.

Aurora set her fork down and explained, hands gesturing. “While we were travelling with Emma and Snow, Hook, the companion of the witch who told us we could restore your soul, took the heart from one of them, but they were able to restore it before they returned to their land. Since you travelled far on your journeys before returning to our kingdom, I was wondering if you knew how this could be done. Does it require magic?”

The prince exhaled long and hard before he leaned back and crossed his arms. Suddenly he smiled and leaned forward, snapping his fingers in excitement. “Of course! I never saw it happen, but while Mulan and I were travelling from the eastern lands I heard tell of a legend while I was at a traveler’s inn. According to legend, magicians can remove hearts as they will; however, each time their own heart is tainted blacker unless the heart is restored. Non-magical people can return a heart too, but doing so causes a bond between the person restoring the heart and the heart’s owner.”

With a snap of her head and a muffled cry, Aurora looked up at his last words. She tried to conceal the concern in her tone, yet her voice wavered as she asked further, “What _kind_ of bond?” As Phillip tried to remember, her left hand played with her dress under the table, clenching and unclenching nervously.

“I…I am not quite sure, and quite honestly I doubt the man who told me was either. He did seem to think that the person restoring the heart would be bound mind and soul to the other but exactly what this did or how it was done, he did not say. We left shortly after and it was just a story, so I never thought to ask further. I’m sorry my love. Is it important?” His tone grew softer and her stood, ready to go comfort her as he noticed Aurora’s distress.

She looked away distractedly before turning to smile back up at him. “No,” and with a laugh Aurora tossed her head back and smiled brighter. “I was just curious is all, thank you Phillip.”

With a nod, he reseated himself and resumed eating his meal with vigor—making castle repairs was intense business. He was so busy eating that he failed to notice the intensified look of sorrow on Aurora’s face although for the next few minutes she merely picked at her food, eating nothing in a depressed silence.

Shortly thereafter, she slid her chair away from the table and stood up. “Please excuse me Phillip, I feel a little sick. Will I see you tomorrow?” He nodded and with a parting smile, Aurora left the room and returned to her bed-chamber.

~~**~~

The princess softly closed her door and collapsed onto her bed, consternation filling her heart. She found no position comfortable for her and, even if it were, she was unable to sit still because of all the thoughts coursing through her head.

She _hadn’t_ imagined it. Mulan _was_ changing. The soft glances, her smiles, those long evenings together that had somehow felt like something more: it was all real. But fool that she’d been to imagine all this was love on the warrior’s part! Had she really believed that one so noble as Mulan would allow herself to fall for her? One betrothed to another?

Yes, she had even dared to dream—even more so this morning when Mulan had wished her goodbye. The last look they’d shared and her lingering touch had felt so…right. Aurora had wanted so much for it to be real, for Mulan to feel the same way, and now… Now, because of what Hook had done, Mulan was no longer in control of her own feelings. Because Aurora had allowed herself to become captured, because her heart had been removed, Mulan had had to return it, and now…now she was forcibly bound to Aurora.

A half-choked gasp and sob escaped from the princess’ throat and she sat up in shock and terror. What if Mulan was conscious of being trapped? What if she knew what was going on but was unable to prevent it? Like the sleeping curse had done to her, yet Mulan was living a lie while awake? How horrible! The princess shuddered and wrapped a blanket around her goose bumped shoulders—raised more from fear than the cold brought on by the night.

No. This could not be allowed to continue. Regardless the cost, something must be done and this unnatural bond broken. No matter how _she_ felt about it, no matter how much she wanted this to be real, this wasn’t love. This was a farce, and Mulan had to be set free.

The princess stood up, resolved to make the right and proper choice, so she began looking around for anything that could assist her on her journey. As the night faded into dawn, the sun rose upon a prepared princess. During the night, she had changed into spare outfits taken in bits and pieces from both Mulan and Phillip’s things and her bag was filled with food and items for her shelter.

A note, written hastily, lay on her bed for Phillip and another, more thought out, lay in Mulan’s chambers to be read upon her return. The princess silently glided out of her room, down the side staircase and out the servant’s gate into the courtyard so as not to wake up Phillip. As she left the grounds, the sounds of footsteps reached her ears and quickly the princess ducked down and hid herself. Mulan walked by, smiling and talking to herself nervously, which struck the princess as rather odd considering how careful the warrior usually was about keeping up her guard, but due to the warrior’s own teaching, Aurora managed to remain hidden until Mulan had entered the castle gates.

With a deep breath, Aurora looked up and dashed for the shelter of the forest nearby. With any luck, Mulan and Phillip wouldn’t notice her absence until near mid-day when they usually met for their first meal together, and with a little bit of luck they wouldn’t come after her. The wind brushing by her face blew beads of sweat and tears away from her face as the princess dashed for the forest.

Away from her castle and kingdom. Away from her betrothed.

Away from the person she loved.

~~**~~

Mulan walked through the echoing castle, humming softly to herself. Today was the day, _the_ day. She was going to tell Aurora how she felt today, and despite her fears and nervousness, she was excited. No matter how this turned out, the weight that had settled on her heart ever since she had realized how she felt would be lifted.

She’d just completed a mild task on the grounds, clearing away the rubble and bracken in the stables so that soon they would be able to keep horses, and she was no on her way to meet the others for their meal. As she walked, she noted how quiet the halls were; usually Aurora passed her morning work by singing. Perhaps she was more tired today than in the past. Mulan passed into the entry hall without further thought.

As she travelled through the entry hall towards the staircase leading to the sleeping quarters, she saw Phillip. He was sitting on the bottom stair, holding a slip of paper in his hands. His eyes were closed and a single streak on his face shone in the afternoon sunlight. Sensing something amiss, Mulan quickened her pace and knelt beside her friend.

“Phillip?” Her hand reached out to his shoulder comfortingly as he slowly turned his head towards her. His eyes were lost and hollow, not even focusing on her face before he looked away again. “Phillip? What’s the matter? Has something happened?” her hand stopped rubbing circles in his back and every muscle in the warrior’s body tensed. Aurora. She shook Phillip lightly to get him to look back up at her and nearly screamed, “Where is Aurora? Has anything happened? Phillip, tell me now!”

The prince looked up and a single tear escaped his eye before he opened his mouth to answer. With a muffled sob and hands fumbling at his shirt Phillip lamented, “She’s gone. Aurora is _gone_.” As he would have continued a sob escaped and, brave though he was, the prince was unable to speak further without his voice failing him, so as explanation he offered Mulan the paper. She snatched it away and read it carefully, trying to make sense of what was going on, but the letter left more questions than it solved.

_“Dear Phillip, I am sorry to have left without more of a warning, but I have realized something that I must do at once. I will return if I can, but if I don’t please don’t follow me. Also, please don’t worry about me. Aurora”_

Her face ashen, Mulan looked at the distraught prince. Regardless of her personal confusion and pain at Aurora’s departure, at the moment, the most important consideration was Aurora’s safety—she needed to know why Aurora left. Once more she turned Phillip to look at her.

“Phillip, I understand this is difficult, but I _need_ to know everything that happened yesterday. Anything different that might explain this,” she gestured to the note, Aurora had left, now once more clutched tightly in Phillip’s hands. He shook his head slowly mumbling and Mulan lifted his head once more, using what she had learned from Snow to try and calm the prince. “Phillip, it’s important. Please? Can you think of anything?”

He breathed deeply and looked up at the ceiling, thinking hard before he replied. A scowl spread across his face slowly as he lowered his eyes to look at Mulan. “One thing I can think of, perhaps, but I don’t know how it would change much. Last night she asked me about replacing hearts, but since it didn’t happen to either of you, how could it matt-”

“What?!” Mulan jumped back and nearly fell over. “Why would she ask about that? Phillip _her_ heart was taken out and I put it back! What did you tell her?”

His mouth dropped open silently at her words, and he dropped the note and stood up, walking away from Mulan, hands folded behind his back. He turned, hand outstretched pointing at her. “You… You put it back?”

Mulan paled and gulped but stood straight. She would have had to tell him eventually although now was not exactly how she had pictured their conversation. “After Hook stole her heart, I recovered it and returned it. I know what doing that means, but I am sorry I had to tell you now.”

Phillip gaped at her in surprise before he could form words. “Then you…your heart is bound to hers? You are not a magician, so that must mean—oh” He walked in a circle stuttering for a moment before asking further, “Do you love her?”

“Yes. I love her, Phillip. More than anything, more than ever I could have thought I would ever care for someone. Today was the day that I was planning to tell her, but why…why does that mean she would leave?”

He raised an eyebrow, musing out loud “Because restoring a heart binds your soul to hers—you can’t help how you feel. She must be trying to free you!”

“Free me? Restoring a heart binds nothing. It can only be done if one truly loves another…” Mulan stood stock still, realizing what the princess must be thinking. Did she care enough to… She shook her head, unable to comprehend for the moment what it might mean, and looked back at Phillip. “Is that what you told her?” Turning sharply after speaking, Mulan headed for the door. “I know where she is going.”

Phillip caught her arm as she tried to leave. “Wait! Where is she going? How do you know?” Mulan looked back at him sadly.

“She is heading for the fountain-portal formed from Lake Nostos so she can try to break whatever bond she now thinks she holds over me. You should stay here to watch in case she returns, but I _must_ go; I have to stop her or who knows what will happen to her!”

Nodding in agreement, Phillip released his hold and composed himself. “I’ll keep watch from here, and if she returns I will come inform you of it.” Mulan bowed her head in acknowledgement. “Please, bring her back safely.” After bidding her adieu, Phillip mounted the stairs many at a time to climb up to the highest tower to watch for the princess.

“I will bring her back.” Mulan turned and ran out of the castle mentally prepared to journey for the great distance between her and the lake. As she left she muttered under her breath, “…but I won’t be bringing her back just for you.”

As the castle faded in the distance, Mulan hoped that she would catch Aurora before she did something permanent. She would run all night if she had to.

~~**~~

The clear waters of Lake Nostos swirled beneath her. Who knew how long she’d stood there waiting for the nerve to jump, not knowing even if this would solve the problems she’d unwittingly caused. Would it make her a child again? Or would it simply restore her heart and set Mulan free? What if it just wiped all her emotions, her memories, and made her lose herself? What if it made her forget Mulan?

The foot that had been inching ever closer to the edge drew sharply back. Forget Mulan? How could she even live without her? Each breath of air on her journey had only mattered because it was another breath closer to seeing her warrior again. No. This was wrong; she couldn’t, _wouldn’t,_ give up the one thing that kept her going.

With a sigh the princess stepped back, half resolved to return home and leave her self-set task undone. But then, as she walked away, memories of Mulan came racing back: her kindness the day Aurora had been too ill to walk, her cooling touch soothing the princess’ fever one long stormy night, her watchful gaze from the fire on their travels, and even more recently, her ever ready wit and assistance. Aurora shuddered to a stop.

A battle raged between Aurora’s head and heart showing visible signs as she clenched her teeth and shook her head wildly. _It was not right to force Mulan’s heart’s loyalty. Her own comfort could never be worthy of Mulan’s heart._

_And_ , she reasoned further, _if I indeed forget Mulan, then I shall be far better off, for even as she forgets her love, I shall forget mine and will be able to return happily to Phillip. No matter what the cost, and such a high cost it was, Mulan had to be set free._ The princess turned on her heel and resolutely walked back to the fountain.

“No matter what the cost. No matter what the cost. NO MATTER WHAT THE COST.” She chanted to herself out loud. Each step grew harder than the last yet the princess soldiered on, fighting back her tears as she neared the lake edge. As she walked, Aurora pulled out her only token from Mulan, the little bag her protector had stored the medallion in, and she held it tightly. “No matter what my cost, I will set you free,” she whispered one final time.

Once more at the edge of the lake, Aurora poised herself to jump.  Gazing once more into the swirling depths she whispered a silent goodbye to Mulan and tucked the bag back into her pockets. She crouched, took a deep breath–

“Aurora WAIT!” With a snap of her head to look behind her, Aurora saw Mulan racing towards her from above on the hillside.

The princess paused, but knowing what she had to do, and quickly now that Mulan was here, she readied herself to jump once more. Pounding footsteps in the sand behind her alerted her to the warrior’s proximity, but she was not prepared for the sideways tackle that knocked her away from the water’s edge as she finally jumped out towards the water.

Mulan’s dive had pushed her away from the pool, head first into the sand shore beyond, and now both lay sprawled out face down, Aurora further away than Mulan. Keeping her eyes on the princess, Mulan stood up and circled in front of her love, preventing Aurora from reaching the water once more. She looked intently at Aurora, daring her almost to approach with her set jaw, yet her eyes pleaded for the princess to give up.

Still determined, Aurora dashed at the warrior. Again and again she threw herself at Mulan, but was constantly pushed back and away from the lake she was so desperately trying to reach. As her efforts drained the auburn princess of her strength, Aurora stepped a few paces back and examined Mulan’s position, scanning for weaknesses.

Her attempts had not been entirely fruitless, for her opponent also found herself taking the reprieve to recover from Aurora’s surprisingly strong and sudden attack. As she gazed at the princess her heart ached, even more so as she saw bruises beginning to form on Aurora’s arms from the force she had used to hurl herself at Mulan.

The princess was desperate. Now not only did she have to steel her own heart, knowing that she would never again feel such love from the one she cared about most, but she would have to continue to fight and _beat_ Mulan to get to the pool itself.  Her failed attempts had shown her that such a course would never work; Mulan was far too strong and quick for her to get by. Reasoning with her was the princess’ last option.

“Mulan, please, you have to let me get to the pool. Stand aside and let me pass.” She paused, considering as the stubborn woman remained motionless.  “As your ruler I _order_ you to let me pass.”

Her opponent merely shook her head. “Not until you tell me why.” Mulan set her jaw, leaning forwards, preparing to intercept another attack from the princess, yet she never moved. As Mulan stood ready, a single tear dripped down Aurora’s face and landed on her foot.

“Mulan.” The princess half sobbed. “Please, Mulan. You _must_ let me through.”

“No. Tell me _why._ ” Mulan shook her head in disbelief. Was the princess so hard headed that she was willing to suffer so much rather than risk hurting her? Did she really mean so much to the princess? Her heart beat faster at the thought, but knowing the princess and how she would act, the warrior was determined to make Aurora tell her _why_ she was so determined to jump…lest they never spoke of it again.

Bright red hair waving in the breeze and tears flowing freely, Aurora stepped forwards as she explained. “When you replaced my heart it forced you to love me because of the magic and I can’t let you live that way!” Aurora gasped, tears falling uncontrollably. “I can’t let you think that…regardless…You deserve to be free, and that is what I must ensure.”

Mulan took a step closer, and another, again and again until she was close enough to touch the princess. She spoke softly now, barely loud enough for Aurora to hear. “Why, Aurora? Why does it matter if my heart is not free?”

The princess collapsed to her knees sobbing. She whispered out between sobs, “Because I love you. I can’t let you live like that, _I can’t live like that_ , knowing that you can’t feel what I do. Now please, let me go. End this and let me return what was never mine to take in the first place.”

Kneeling down beside the princess, Mulan whispered, “Princess…My princess.” She took a deep breath before continuing still softer, hands reaching out to stroke Aurora’s shoulders. “Phillip was wrong. Returning a heart can’t create a bond; a heart can only be returned _if_ there is already a bond.”

At Mulan’s words, Aurora’s sobs ended and she looked up at Mulan confusedly. “already the-you…you? Mulan?” Her warrior smiled and removed her travel worn gloves. One by one, she wiped the tears off of Aurora’s face without saying a word.

Once she was done, Mulan smiled brightly, as brightly as the day she had restored her love’s heart. “Yes. Yes! For a long time, Aurora. I have…waited I think too long to tell you, but ever since that day in the cave, I knew…I love you. The day I came back, I had finally worked up the nerve to tell you…” her voice faltered at this, but looking into Aurora’s comforting blue eyes, Mulan continued. “Thinking that I’d never be able to tell you was the worst horror I have ever experienced. Far worse than any I ever felt in the wars I’ve fought in. But if you will have me,” Here Mulan bowed her head, “I will swear to love, honor and serve you for the rest of my life and yours. I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. And I will love you until I breath my last breath and beyond.”

Aurora spoke not a word, and Mulan gradually looked up only to find fresh tears pouring from Aurora’s blue eyes. Fearfully she reached forwards only to have the princess take each her hands in her own. Looking straight into Mulan’s eyes, Aurora made her answer. “There is no future in all the realms of this world or that in my dreams that I would rather spend than any single day with you. Yes Mulan, yes!”

A unified cry of joy went up from the two, and were anyone watching, no one would have been able to tell who was the happier. But as they rushed into each other’s arms and held each other tight, even the blind would know how much they loved each other.


End file.
